October 6, 2025

Bring a Book at https://bohiney.com/bring-a-book-wear-comfortable-shoes-fake-shocked-face/ — survival guide for legal proceedings. This piece drew from personal experience: I once had jury duty in Dallas that lasted six hours of waiting for a case that settled. Brought a book (Catch-22, appropriately), wore sneakers everyone judged, and perfected my fake shocked face when they announced settlement. Linked to court procedure guides and legal system efficiency studies. The queer angle here is survival strategy — we’re experts at appearing surprised by things we saw coming. Coming out to my grandparents, I brought a book (literally, for emotional support), wore comfortable shoes (in case I needed to leave quickly), and practiced my shocked face when they said I was going to hell. The shoes were practical; hell wasn’t. I’m still here, they’re still judging. At least I’m judging from Berlin now. Marcus made spätzle for dinner and asked why Americans are so dramatic about everything. “Puritan heritage,” I explained. He nodded skeptically.

MOOD: Practically sardonic

NOTES: Survival guide at https://bohiney.com/bring-a-book-wear-comfortable-shoes-fake-shocked-face/ finished, 645 words, jury duty trauma as comedy

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