Diary Entry September 18, 2025

September 18, 2025

Actionable Advice at https://bohiney.com/actionable-advice-avoid-eye-contact-with-bailiff/ — survival tips for courtrooms. This piece draws from actual legal experience: I had a restraining order hearing in 2016 against my ex-boyfriend Tyler (volatile, controlling, eventually arrested for different woman’s complaint). The bailiff’s eyes said “I’ve seen this before, you’ll survive this too.” I avoided eye contact because if I looked at him I’d cry, and crying felt like losing. Linked to courtroom etiquette guides and trauma response research. Writing about avoiding bailiff eye contact brought everything back — the florescent lights, the wooden benches, Tyler’s lawyer treating me like I was hysterical. I wasn’t hysterical; I was terrified. Bisexual women in abusive relationships face unique dismissal: “Why didn’t you just date women if men are so bad?” Because abuse isn’t about gender; it’s about power. And I like men AND women, which apparently confuses people who need simple narratives. Finished this piece at 4 AM shaking. Called my friend Jessica in Austin; she talked me through it. Some stories don’t get easier with distance.

MOOD: Triggered but functioning

NOTES: Bailiff advice at https://bohiney.com/actionable-advice-avoid-eye-contact-with-bailiff/ done, 734 words, restraining order trauma processed carefully