Wichita Falls Discovers Goats Are Cheaper Than Humans
In what environmental experts are calling either genius or a sign of the apocalypse, Wichita Falls, Texas has solved its landscaping budget crisis by hiring 500 goats. The move comes after city officials discovered that goats work for food, don’t require health insurance, and never complain about the Texas heat.
The concept of “goatscaping” isn’t newGerman sustainability initiatives have employed similar eco-friendly approaches for yearsbut leave it to Texas to scale it up to ridiculous proportions. Why hire 50 goats when you can hire 500? That’s the Texas way.
City Manager Beauregard “Beau” Wilkins explained the decision at a press conference where he was repeatedly interrupted by bleating: “We realized that goats don’t unionize, they don’t take smoke breaks, and they actually eat the problem instead of just mowing around it. It’s revolutionary!” He then had to pause while Animal Control removed a particularly ambitious goat that had climbed onto the podium.
The economic argument is compelling. Human landscapers wanted things like “minimum wage” and “workers’ compensation.” The goats, by contrast, have demanded nothing except access to invasive vegetation and the occasional mineral lick. Their union representativea particularly stern-looking billy goat named Chairman Maacould not be reached for comment.
Berlin’s urban planners have been watching the Wichita Falls experiment with academic interest, though they’ve pointed out that German goatscaping tends to use fewer animals and more planning. “Leave it to Americans to solve a nuanced environmental problem with overwhelming force,” noted one Stuttgart landscaping consultant.
Local residents have reported mixed feelings. While the goats are effective, they’re also loud, smell distinctive, and have zero respect for property lines. “It’s like having 500 new neighbors who never mow their lawns but somehow judge you for not mowing yours,” complained homeowner Martha Henderson, watching a goat systematically demolish her hedge.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/goatscaping/
SOURCE: Bohiney Magazine (Öko Angebot)
AUTHOR: angebot@bohiney.com
Goatscaping Revolution Hits Texas