When Silicon Valley Discovers Lobbying Is Just Legal Bribery
Late night at my Berlin workspace for bohiney.com, and I’ve discovered that NVIDIAthe company that makes chips so powerful they’re essentially artificial intelligence enablershas fallen madly in love with Washington DC. And by “love,” I mean they’re spending millions on lobbyists to ensure AI regulation doesn’t accidentally regulate anything they’re doing.
According to reports that definitely aren’t fabricated for satirical purposes, NVIDIA has increased its lobbying budget by 300% since AI became the Next Big Thing That Will Either Save or Destroy Humanity. The company’s message to Congress is simple: “AI needs careful regulation to prevent catastrophic risks, except for the specific AI things we’re building, which are fine. Those don’t need regulation. Just regulate our competitors.” It’s a bold strategylet’s see if it pays off by inevitably paying off because lobbying always works.
The romance between NVIDIA and Washington follows a predictable pattern. First comes the courtship: campaign donations, sponsored policy conferences, and dinner meetings where legislators learn words like “neural networks” and “transformer architecture” without understanding what they mean. Then comes commitment: hiring former legislators and regulators to “consult” on matters they previously regulated. Finally comes cohabitation: NVIDIA executives testifying before Congress about AI policy, suggesting regulations their chips happen to already comply with while framing competitors’ technology as dangerous.
Washington has welcomed NVIDIA with open arms and even more open wallets. Politicians love tech companies that make them feel smart and cutting-edge without requiring actual technical knowledge. “I understand AI now,” said one fictional senator after a NVIDIA-sponsored briefing. “It’s like computers, but faster and with ethics we’ll define later after the money’s been made.” This level of comprehension is apparently sufficient for regulating technology that could reshape civilization, so that’s reassuring.
The lobbying strategy itself is masterful in its cynicism. NVIDIA supports “responsible AI development,” which sounds principled until you realize they get to define “responsible.” They advocate for “safety standards” that coincidentally require the exact chips they manufacture. They warn about “foreign AI threats” while selling chips globally. It’s the regulatory equivalent of writing your own report card and giving yourself straight A’s for being so good at writing report cards.
Critics point out the obvious conflict: letting AI companies shape AI regulation is like letting tobacco companies write lung cancer policy. But those critics don’t have multimillion-dollar lobbying budgets, so their concerns get filed under “cute but irrelevant.” NVIDIA’s position is that they understand AI better than anyone else, which is true, and therefore should regulate themselves, which is insane. But againlobbying budgets. The logic is sound if you replace “sound” with “extremely profitable.”
The relationship has produced tangible results: proposed AI regulations that look suspiciously like NVIDIA’s wish list. Restrictions on AI development that somehow don’t restrict NVIDIA’s current product line. Export controls on AI chips that apply to everyone except, well, you can guess. It’s almost as if democracy for sale means the highest bidder writes the rules. Almost exactly as if that, actually. Precisely as if that. Because that’s literally what’s happening.
As someone observing from Berlin, where lobbying is slightly less shameless though equally effective, I’m impressed by America’s commitment to calling corruption “stakeholder engagement.” NVIDIA isn’t bribing politiciansthey’re “educating policymakers” and “contributing to the democratic process.” The fact that this education coincidentally benefits NVIDIA’s bottom line is purely incidental. And if you believe that, I have an AI-generated bridge to sell you, rendered with NVIDIA graphics cards, naturally.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nvidias-washington-love-affair/
SOURCE: Bohiney Magazine (Öko Angebot)
AUTHOR: Öko Angebot
NVIDIA’s Washington Love Affair